a thousand pictures
by tigersmt334
Summary: A bunch of Kenny/Kyle K2/KSquared One shot stories based off random words that come to mind and stuff. There are hint's to other pairings as well, like Style. Please excuse any mistakes on new chapters as the haven't been beta'd yet.
1. Rules

-1**Rule-**

Kenny McCormick knew that he was stepping on toes. "Stomping," would be a more appropriate word. He knew he should probably stop before something bad happened. He knew he was breaking the rules, so if he was caught, then that was that. That would be the end of him.

But Kyle would probably manage to stay out of trouble, even though he was doing the same thing. The difference between them was that _Kenny_ was the only one who knew he was breaking the rules. _Kyle_ had no idea whatsoever.

And Kenny knew he should probably be way more considerate toward Stan. And Kenny knew he was in deep shit if Stan ever found out about this, but that didn't make him stop.

Even though he knew Stan would go into a psychotic rage, and would beat the ever living crap out of Kenny. And even though Kenny knew Kyle was going to spill his guts out to Stan, because Super best friend's don't keep secrets from each other. And even though Kenny _knew_ that these things were sure to happen, _and_ all the blame would slip past Kyle and drown Kenny in Stan's decided punishment; Kenny wasn't going to stop.

Not when Kyle was moaning his name like _that_. He could deal with the consequences' later, no matter how harsh they'd be. And believe him, the consequences' _would _be harsh_._

_Because it's totally against the rules to fuck your closest friend's crush._

**Disclaimer:** I totally do not own South Park. If I did, the show wouldn't be as awesome as it is.


	2. Love

-**Love-**

"Shut-up, you fucking Jew!" Cartman whined, his face inches away from the pale redhead's. Arms raised to punch Kyle.

"DON'T BELITTLE MY PEOPLE, FATASS!" And then Cartman was on the ground gasping, his hands grasping his crotch in pain. Kyle towered over him like a dark entity. His foot slowly settled back onto the ground.

"What are you guys fighting about _this_ time?" Stanley grumbled from his perch on the bench behind Kyle. Cartman whimpered from his spot on the ground, rolling over the snow to face Stanley. Kenny squatted down before the large figure, poking Cartman's moob with a stick and laughing when Cartman faced him angrily but couldn't do much more than that.

"THIS FUCKIN' ASSHOLE SAYS HE LOVES ME!"

"WHAT?" The sound of gagging and choking, and generally falling onto the snow was emitted from both Stan and Kenny. Kyle finally calmed a little, running over to Stan who couldn't get his inhaler out of his pocket. Stan breathed for a moment, grabbing onto Kyle's arms, and then looking into the concerned green eyes of his super best friend. "Wh-what?"

"Cartman said he loves me!" Kyle repeated, casting a dirty glance at Cartman. His hands grasping Stan's shoulders to help him sit upright. Which was a good call on Kyle's part, as the raven haired boy would've fell backwards if Kyle hadn't held him up.

"No, no-no-no! Dude, no! Not possible! _**Im**_possible! It's not capable of happening! The very fabric of time and space wouldn't let it happen! Nuh-UH!" Kenny scrambled to his hands and knees looking up toward the sky as though it would turn red, and a meteor would tear through the sky to crush all of humanity. And yet, the sky remained blue.

"That's what _**I**_ said!" Kyle exclaimed, gently lying Stan onto the ground. Kenny quickly crawled over to Kyle, embracing him as soon as he got there.

"Oh, you poor baby! I can't imagine what must've run through your head when you heard that! What horrible thoughts you must've encountered!" Kenny rocked them back and forth, comfortingly. Kyle, puzzled, allowed it. And in this moment Stan awoke.

"Oh, God. I had the worst dream! Kyle kicked Cartman in the balls, and then Kyle said it was because Cartman told Kyle he loved him. Then I fainted and Kenny confessed his undying love for Kyle, and Kyle said he'd give Kenny a chance. Then aliens came down from space and took over the world, and I was a human sacrifice to the great King, Kenny, who the alien's worshipped because he spoke the language of Moo. And Wendy got pregnant with Token's child, and Kyle had to eat the baby because he was to be Kenny's queen and it's tradition for queen's to eat babies, apparently, but he wouldn't, and the only way to save him from the wrath of the aliens was if Butters and Cartman made sweet love down by the fire." Stan sat up, receiving terrified looks from Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny, who, then, all glanced towards the sky in fear. "Dude, why are you holding Kyle?"

Kenny looked over to Stan, then glanced at Kyle who was still fixated on the sky, then at Cartman who was dumbstruck and still grasping his package. Then Kenny hugged Kyle tighter, gaining his attention once more.

"Dude, I know this is a little soon, I mean, you just totally dumped Cartman and everything, but I love you!"

Kyle, dumbstruck by the events of the day, just allowed Kenny to hug him. Eventually returning the embrace.

"Dude, Kenny, if aliens come down from space, I'm totally breaking up with you."

**Disclaimer: I own the storyline, but me no own South Park.**


	3. Kiss

_**Kiss**_

The question written on the board was simple, the task was simple, write down the answer to the question and explain why. Anybody could do it, and you could even lie, the teacher wasn't going to do a background check or anything. Everyone was going to present at the end of class too, so it would be really retarded if you didn't do it now.

"_If you were on field trip to a candy factory, who would you take with you, and why?"_

Everyone had presumably finished their work as the classroom's whisper transformed to full voices, and the teacher stood up, calling forth the first person to present.

"If I was going on a field trip to the candy factory, I would bring Clyde with me because he really likes candy." Craig murmured at the front of the room. His paragraph continued for a moment longer before he was allowed to sit back down and the next victim was called.

Two pairs of blue eyes lit up as the second made his way to the front, swiveled to face them, and then read off the notebook paper.

"Have you ever been inside a Candy Factory? With all the chocolates and goodies that make your mouth water at the very sound of them?" He began, reading further, making sure to try and get attention with eye contact, "I would bring with me one of my best friends, Kenny McCormick."

The lighter shade of blue eyes blink in the audience, the darker glared.

"He has a lot of pockets, so he'd be able to carry a lot of candy. So when we come back home there will still be candy for my super best friend. Then both of my best friends would have candy." Is essentially what the boy at the front of the room said, only in more words roughly larger than most. Which is why the Darker eyes lit up once more.

"Okay, Kyle, you over freakin' achiever. You get a one-hundred, like you always do, and Stan would you come to the board now and read us your paragraph?"

"If I went on a field trip to a candy factory I would bring my super best friend Kyle with me. I would bring him because he's my super best friend. The end." Stan sat back down and the teacher brought out the red pen, marking a "F" in the grade book. Kyle gave a shy smile to his best friend who returned it despite the fact that said super best friend wouldn't bring him along.

After a long series of explanations from several students, the teacher finally called forward the child she'd been dreading to hear from. It would probably be about sex again, that's all Kenny ever had on his mind.

"If I had to go to a Candy Factory, I would bring Kyle Broflovski around, 'cuz I love kissing his candy-flavored lips. Then later- he'd probably thank me with sex."

"Can I change my answer to Stan? I think I would rather bring him along instead of Kenny. At least he wouldn't try to rape me."

**I only own South Park in my wildest dreams.**


End file.
